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I meant to reply earlier, but the afternoon got away from me and I just sat down again.
I checked the draft, and overall it reads smoothly, though I would trim the second paragraph because it starts repeating the first point.
I also think the shorter ending works better since it sounds more natural and less formal.
If you still want another pair of eyes on it tomorrow, send the latest version when you have a minute.
I can look at it during breakfast and note anything that feels awkward or too wordy.
By the way, the route through the park was open again this morning, so the walk was much easier than yesterday.
I finally brought the blue notebook I mentioned, and it turned out to be helpful for keeping all the little reminders in one place.
Later tonight I’m just planning to reset a bit, make tea, and stay offline for a while because my screen fatigue is very real.

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I saw your note and wanted to get back before the evening slipped by again.
I tried the method you suggested, and it honestly made the whole task less messy than I expected.
The first attempt was clumsy, but by the second round everything started to feel more familiar.
I still want to adjust the timing a little because I rushed the middle part and that made it harder to keep track of what I was doing.
Tomorrow should be calmer on my side, so I can spend a little longer on it and compare the two versions properly.
Also, thanks for reminding me to save a copy before changing anything, because I definitely would have forgotten and regretted it later.
If you send your updated notes, I can line them up with mine and point out what stands out most clearly.
I’m around early, and I should be easier to reach then.